Don’t tell me to watch my step, because I’m like a staircase—so can you be more specific? Which step should I watch?

“Women love to talk. I'll bet Van Gogh had a woman. And I'll bet she talked his …”

“I admire your mustache madam, but I wonder, what’s for dessert?”

“I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make…”

“Everything east of the Mississippi is west of the Mississippi, if you just keep…”