Don’t tell me your name. If you don’t tell me your name, I can’t hurt your feelings by forgetting it.

“Who was where when has no impact on where you are now.”

“My philosophy on life: On a burrito, the cheese goes underneath the sour cream.…”

“The house I grew up in is one of a kind. It’s a bibliophile’s fantasy, and if t…”

“I sell black markers on the black market. I am personally responsible for 50% o…”