Ever since I was fired for sleeping on the job I’ve worn a shirt and tie to bed.

“Where was I last night? I don’t remember myself. I mean I remember me—I didn’t …”

“If I walked in on two of my clones having sex, I’d think it was gay, incestuous…”

“People are like books. You can either read them, or you can burn them. But befo…”

“Necessity is the mother of invention. She’s also my mother, though Invention an…”