Exuding confidence can ooze onto everyone around you. But it’s sticky and goo-like, so remember to periodically wipe yourself down. I use a squeegee, because I don’t like squeezing sponges. The only time I like to squeeze is when hugging a person—or a tree.

“I think homeless people, like rainwater, are better off in street gutters, rath…”

“Some men want to go out with a bang. Personally, I'd rather not die from sex. I…”

“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable po…”

“The girl I used to love is no longer a girl, and this saddens me more than our …”