Flower coffee—less caffeinated, more romantic. I wanted to be with her, but when I was, I felt like I’d rather wither.

“A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then e…”

“There’s a penis in my penne pasta. It’s my penis, but that doesn’t mean it belo…”

“You know what show I thought was a riot? Live coverage of Egyptians overthrowin…”

“I need your compliments to feed my ego, because it’s bored of mac and cheese. A…”