Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.

“He’s like my best friend. And I say that only because I have no real friends, a…”

“I’d like to build a boat out of those little wooden planks that Starbucks provi…”

“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

“I cut my face shaving, and all those little pieces of toilet paper stuck to my …”