Gin is a confusing drink. It’s the only liquid that’s both wet and dry.

“Mrs. Indianapolis was in town again. She looked like a can of Sprite in her gre…”

“A brick could be used to show you how to live a richer, fuller, more satisfying…”

“I’m a poor worker. The quality of work I do is excellent, but I make no money.”

“Insects have the most sex. Trust me, I peep on them through my microscope.”