Give me 10 pins and a hardwood lane, and I’ll bowl. Just as long as that bowl is full of spaghetti. I’ll always be a champion, when I’m the only one in the competition.

“I painted my walls yellow, with melted butter, because I recently discovered th…”

“There are going to be a lot of eyes on this year's annual Blindfold Convention.…”

“I’d like to assess all the asses on the beach. By hand. I should try to get a s…”

“I never understood the term “Ass hat.” Not until I misplaced my Fedora, and dec…”