Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That might be why I’m the World Cuddling Champion.

“I'm a year older than 365 days ago, and I'm having trouble bending my knees and…”

“Maybe one day I’ll be a real boy. Maybe then my untruthful nose won’t be longer…”

“I added five shots to my coffee, because that’s all the bullets my magazine can…”

“-I’m looking for a man—
-There are several suspects in Topeka, Ks. that match t…”