Growing up, I went through an awkward stage. It lasted from birth to last Tuesday.

“I’ve wrestled an alligator before. It wasn’t alive, but I still pinned it down.…”

“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. …”

“I want to meet a woman named Sherry who only drinks brandy, and a woman named B…”

“The only reason I didn’t feel like a complete fool was because the failure left…”