Her name was Penny, and she was good looking. She wasn’t a dime, but she wasn’t a nickel either. If there were a coin worth 7.5 cents, she’d be that. And I’d be the vending machine that accepts those coins.

“Loneliness is the unloneliest feeling in the world, as everyone has experienced…”

“I’ll never be as old as someone older than me, but I can be older than them if …”

“I yelled at my cat to knock it off, and sure enough, he did. And it broke.”

“All men are created Equal. Some just have more Splenda.”