Here are the top three things I’ve learned in my twenty-two years on the planet:

1. Never wipe your butt with poison ivy.

2. People are like ants: Just a few of them give all the orders. And most of them spend their lives getting squashed.

3. There are no happy endings, only breaks in the regular action.

Of all of them, number three is really the only one you have to keep in mind

Author: Lauren Oliver