His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up.

“Large metal objects moving at high speeds have such an impact on me that I just…”

“Birthdays: without them we'd be immortal. But just because you're not immortal,…”

“Question for your life: If love covered as much of the earth’s surface as the o…”

“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so…”