His name was Rodger Green, but people called him Red. Red Green was a man of strong contrasts, just like his friend Blue Orange.

“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so…”

“I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a…”

“I don’t need a hearing aid—I need a listening aid. And this aid, she’d better b…”

“This is a pickup line that’s sure to not work: I want to inquire if you’re in c…”