How many birthdays can you fit in your lifetime? If you answered "All of them," you should have your genitals ripped out from underneath your father's pillowcase.

“I don’t quite know how to respond to people who say that I dance like my genita…”

“I want to save the environment. I like being green as much as the next Smurf.”

“My name is MooMoo Cowlishaw, and I’m as vapid as vapor. Gaze at me grazing.”

“Mr. and Mrs. Foster are not my foster parents. Also, they’re not even married t…”