How many midget feet can you fit in your shoes? Depends on how big your penis is. Mine is 17 syllables long, like a haiku.

“A pen is like a switchblade you can actually write with—and pull off a successf…”

“A large boiling pot of water is not a Jacuzzi. Still, I think you should jump i…”

“I am upset. I have reservations about dinner for two at 8:00. I have reservatio…”

“With over one billion people, I’d say China is the best place to have group sex.”