I always leave the toilet seat up. It’s just easier to wash my hair that way.

“A brick could be used to grow your annual income by a factor of four. What, you…”

“I sent a message silently, through body language and body odor.”

“No, lady, you didn’t have sex with me, you had sex with my clone. I’m sorry, bu…”

“Instead of a motorcycle gang, I’m thinking of starting up a unicycle gang. We’l…”