I always say “I couldn’t agree more,” even if I wholeheartedly disagree, because whether I completely agree or completely disagree, I couldn’t agree more.

“If love were a glove, I’d wear it on my foot like a goldfish in a silver mine. …”

“I brought a fruit basket. Instead of wicker, it’s made of fruit. Specifically, …”

“The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her li…”

“I would eat my soup in silence, but it’s alphabet soup. They’re all capital let…”