I am a caged lion living like a free-range lamb.

“When a guy at the urinal says to me, "If you shake it more than twice, you're p…”

“One thought I think every person eventually thinks is, “Holy shit, I’m going to…”

“If the status quo came carbonated in a can, I’d shake things up.”

“I walk like a shriveled hippopotamus, I jog like a giraffe with charcoal knees,…”