I am an octopus on four wheels. What are my four free arms for? To better love you, of course.

“My armpits smell like a baboon belch, which doesn’t make me want to shower, as …”

“I need to get my wedding ring resized, because it still fits tight around my ne…”

“I don’t look for faces in clouds, I look for clouds in faces. And the best plac…”

“Ignoring a problem is the same as being ignorant of it.”