I am Captain Aptitude. Well, I will be, once I get acclimated to the climate at this altitude.

“My bed’s as big as a medium-sized apartment in New York City. And my erection i…”

“Bury the truth, along with the bodies of the disbelievers.”

“Jack and Hilda went up the hill to fetch a mountain of valley.
”

“I wear my underwear on the outside of my itch.”