I am illiterate. Just not in English.

“There’s nobody worth talking about, so let’s not talk about it. Only let’s do i…”

“I named my car Itch, not because it’s all scratched up, though it is, but becau…”

“I second that notion. And if I had 59 more, I’d have a minute.”

“English isn’t my first language—gibberish is.”