I am in possession of the love cannon. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but please don’t take this the wrong way (my love cannon’s point of entry is not your anus).

“A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity.
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“A brick could be used like sandpaper, to smooth out a cat’s rough tongue.
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“The old me is younger than the new me, the me now.”

“I want to write a story about an asexual unicycle who refuses to let a unicorn …”