I am the bathtub of desire, but damnit woman, I saw you eyeing that swimming pool.

“What I got out of church was a love of God, and a detestable feeling for the me…”

“They should make suitcases shaped like human bodies, for discretely transportin…”

“I worked for one day, and left with two days in my back pocket. I couldn’t stuf…”

“The diner was more twiner than Twain, and I found a mustache in my soup. Maybe …”