I am the egg salad sandwich of love. The only problem is, I’m in the mood for a tuna fish sandwich—hold the mercury.

“My asshole is supportive of me. No matter what, good or bad, it’s always right …”

“Coupons are easy to counterfeit, so why not make a bunch of one dollar off coup…”

“The world may be running out of water, but it isn’t running low on music. Let t…”

“A brick could be used as a cock block. 
”