I asked if I could draw on her face, because not only was her head globe-shaped, but her nose was shaped like Italy. My love knows no boundaries.

“People can only grow, stagnate, or regress. Which one are you doing? I’m both g…”

“I don’t think I’d come off well on TV. But if you ever see me on, my advice is …”

“We broke up because we weren’t going anywhere. I kept telling her, Hitchhiking …”

“How not to get rejected: ask a fat chick out to dinner. Do you think obesity ev…”