I bought you a gift. It’s something I’ve always wanted, but I’m not quite sure you’ll like it. So if you don’t want it just tell me and I’ll be happy to keep it. After all, I’m only interested in making you happy. 


“The temperature in the room seems to have gone up about ten degrees. My armpits…”

“I wash my hands twice in the bathroom—once before I touch my penis, and once ag…”

“There is until there isn’t. That’s just the way it is. Until it isn’t.”

“She had two leaves for feat. Maple, I think. She was flat-footed and always rea…”