I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good looking my breath is.

“My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the …”

“You could say my book is the best book ever (or worst book ever), and it wouldn…”

“Ah, the good ol’ days. I remember those days. That was before your time. It was…”

“Be prepared, but look unprepared. That way, your opponent thinks he doesn’t hav…”