I brush my teeth with a leg of fried chicken, and gravy is my toothpaste.

“I can go from zero to sixty in 59 M.P.H.”

“The best way to wake up is with coffee and an erection.
The cool part is one ca…”

“A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool…”

“If God had wanted men to swim, he would have taught fish to fish. But fish don’…”