I can’t offer you anything to drink, but I can offer you an excuse. Would you like ice with it?

“Friends, like fingers, are only good if you can count on them, as well as point…”

“A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick…”

“I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bit…”

“Death cannot stop true love. That’s why it’s pointless for me to try to murder …”