I collect human skin. I keep it all on the bumper of my car.

“A brick is a good object to hide a house key under. No burglar will be able to …”

“Speed dating is great, because when that bell rings, I drool like Pavlov’s dog.”

“If footballs were the size of acorns, they’d be easy to lose in the forest. Vir…”

“A blanket could be used to tell you I love you. You know I do. And I’m not just…”