I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.

“I respect my elders, but I don’t respect the Myelders, who are my neighbors, be…”

“A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.”

“I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the…”

“If I had three magic wishes, I’d use the first wish for one more, to replace th…”