I covered up my mistakes—with dirt, like you’d do with any other dead bodies.

“What’s the halfway point on a burrito called? Sadness.”

“I once met a man who couldn't think outside of the box. So one day, while he wa…”

“I took a shortcut and saved a ton of time. Literally 2,000 pounds of it. Now I …”

“This is my own personal logo”