I decorated my ballsack in his honor. I wrote, “Welcome home, dad.

“I had a dream about you. We were in a band. I was the lead singer, guitar playe…”

“I can’t work well when I am under stress. It reduces me to normalcy. Stress is …”

“I just peed in the sink. Why? Because there was already somebody in the bathtub.”

“A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high h…”