I did not approve of your action—I was merely congratulating myself. What you mistook for clapping was merely me giving myself multiple high fives.

“Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a ser…”

“The cop wanted to know what was in the bag. I said, Another cop.”

“I waste more time trying to save time than I would if I were merely inefficient…”

“He attacked me, so I had to slit his throat with a steak knife. But not before …”