I didn’t do it, because not doing seemed like the right thing to do. I’ll always love her in a way that I won’t.

“A brick could be used to say hello in a foreign language. Like most great words…”

“If a molar-shaped asteroid crashed down from the heavens and crushed my testicl…”

“There are 365 days in a year, and 360 degrees in a circle. Coincidence? I think…”

“I’m a miner, and I’m always dirty, because I’m constantly digging. Am I shoveli…”