I didn’t mean to drown him. But the soup was right there, and he was just a spoon. He wasn’t just a tool, he was more specific than that.

“I put all my eggs in one basket, and then I jizzed all over them. I'm a natural…”

“The temperature in the room seems to have gone up about ten degrees. My armpits…”

“I want to mail my mailman something. He always brings me mail, yet I never give…”

“I’ll tell you about love on one condition: that you give it to me unconditional…”