I don’t collect awards, I collect empty trophy cases. Once my collection is large enough, I’m going to start collecting broken dreams.

“He’s a monk, the fifth of his kind. I call him Monk E, and he is a primate.”

“I make my own lotion. And I add nuts, to make it chewier.”

“We had a mythical love. Some would say, including her, that it didn’t exist.”

“Don’t show me how I messed up, because I don’t need to be shown. Clearly if I’v…”