I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh.

“I’m divorced, in debt, and I can’t grow sideburns. Sometimes I get depressed, b…”

“A blanket of self-regulated trust on a bed of deceit. 
”

“I’m not descended from anybody. All my ancestors are ascending from me.”

“Her message was short: “Any kids?” So I wrote, “Sure. But it might take me a fe…”