I don’t eat food with silverware—I use sponges. I always clean my plate.

“You know who you remind me of? Your clone.”

“I found love in the arms of another woman. Who needs two legs, a torso, or talk…”

“My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite.”

“I’d rather have a high EQ than a high IQ. After all, what is more important tha…”