I don’t have any money to speak of. And if I did, what’s there to say? They say money talks, but it doesn’t talk to me. Money won’t even look at me half the time.

“I don’t care that I no longer have my grandma to keep me company at the dining …”

“This book does not exist. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be worth buying or re…”

“I made a t-shirt that says, "Today's my birthday" on it, so that I can ask for …”

“In politics, I don’t know which came first, the rubber chicken policies, or the…”