I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work—in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman.


“I called the cops to see if I had a rap sheet. I do, and it rhymes.”

“My fur coat doesn’t need to be dry cleaned, because it’s self-cleaning. It’s co…”

“Accepting your help, I’m not doing it for me—I’m doing it for you. You need to …”

“Quiet night. Silence at full capacity. Noiselessness is spilling over like a co…”