I drink coffee like goats walk on tightropes. It’s fun to watch, but it sure would be easier if this monkey dressed like a cowboy would get off my back.

“It’s easier to hide your smoking habit on a foggy day. Let that be a lesson for…”

“If I told you I don’t tell lies, that itself would be a lie.”

“Love is as iffy as Kipling.”

“I’d like to let another person reveal my personality, and I’d like this person …”