I drink coffee like other men play basketball. I drink like a woman, and that’s why I use a slightly smaller ball.

“Turn the fan off when I’m talking. It not only makes my words colder, but it di…”

“I wash my hair with strawberry jelly, because my favorite thing to eat for brea…”

“My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may…”

“If you were to ask me what kind of musical sound I aspire to produce, that nois…”