I drove your lunch to work, and I parked it in my stomach.

“One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate …”

“My lawyer’s name is Mr. Dentist. I have him on retainer. The police may think I…”

“If you put the “rich” in ostrich, I’ll put in the “ost.”

“I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll g…”