I feel like I’m late for love. I’ll be 30 in March. Damn it! I knew I should have set my alarm clock.

“My asshole smells like a paper mill. Three cheers for being a writer.”

“I’ll name my town “Unwelcome,” and the sign will say, “Welcome to Unwelcome.”

“A blanket could be used as a makeshift trampoline, to attract midgets to your p…”

“People talk of the “whispering wind.” But what are these secrets of the breeze?…”