I floated like driftwood in the ocean. I wasn’t worried about sharks, because my bathtub is much too shallow.

“I held open the door for the man who held up the bank. It was the least I could…”

“If I didn’t have any pants on, I’d let you taste my pantslessness.”

“Her car is being repaired, so I offered to give her a lift to work tomorrow. I …”

“I used to have straw-colored hair. Horses loved it.”