I found a body today. It was mine, so I played with it.

“I’ll tug at your breasts like a thirsty child. Try not to burn your nipples in …”

“I had to be at work at 8 am this morning, so I set my alarm clock for 7:49. Nat…”

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You …”

“I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, pea…”