I got him a cool gift. I got him a pack of razors, and a really furry dead cat.

“I oft go to a loft aloft in the sky. I go alone, because I enjoy the company of…”

“I carry a concealed weapon—high cholesterol. It’s deadly.
”

“A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend …”

“Yesterday is as ancient as a millennia ago, because both are forever out of rea…”