I got you a birthday present. The box is the exact same size as a coffin.

“A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Ge…”

“I feel like the boy who cried wolf, even though I know even less about politics.”

“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would y…”

“I find out a lot about myself by sleeping. Dreams, they are who I am when I’m t…”